I'm Sorry!

“Go ahead!” I looked down the long towering passageway without breathing. My legs started to move as my mind tried to grasp the reality of the situation. Everything went as planned and we turned right going into a small room. “Wait here.” We stopped too nervous to tremble.

It’s moments like this recent experience I had in Rome that leave lasting impressions, and you would almost like to live them again. They are in the past but effect your present. You learn to always take a step forward.

People started to gaze at us through the plexi-glass. My mind raced to find an explanation…. Just two days before I was at the seminary when a priest pulled me aside: “Would you like to be an altar server for the Pope?” “For the Pope?” I replied “What an honor.” Satisfied with the answer he continued “It will be a special Mass where the Pope will ask pardon for the sins committed throughout the history of Christianity.” I could hardly believe my ears. The Jubilee Year 2000 had been full of special graces but it almost seemed too much. Now I stood next to the famous Pietà statue waiting to begin the ceremony.

“Come on. The Holy Father is waiting!” A fellow seminarian and I stepped through the door into a small private sacristy just large enough for the Pope, two monsignors and both of us. Pope John Paul II had his back towards us, hands folded, head bent with his eyes closed as he faced a crucifix on the wall. A peaceful silence came over all of us. We looked at him while he looked at God. No words, no movement, just the silent testimony of a man in prayer. Conscious of his own weakness and necessity, aware of who man is and his great need for God and his mercy. The Pope was interceding before Christ for humanity.

When he opened his eyes the monsignor signaled and we headed out to lead the procession into the basilica. As we turned right to head down the center aisle flashes of light from the press and the packed crowds of faithful blinded me. Little did they know that they had just missed the most important moment.

Pope John Paul II was an incredible man not because he was in the spotlight, but rather because he learned from Christ how to forgive and ask for forgiveness. His past already included one moment of forgiveness, when he pardoned the man who tried to kill him.

More than ten years after this historical Mass of Pardon we are today aware more than ever of man’s weakness, his sin and his need for God. Wars, injustice and hatrid are still a part of our daily lives. Living testimonies are necessary who follow the example of John Paul II and pray every day as Christ taught us: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us....”

By Aaron Smith