-Kid, watch your language!
-Sorry, it just slipped….
If it comes out, it must be inside, right? All of us live in a constant flux between input and output. We experience life (input). We form convictions and habits that make us tick. We act on them (output). Sometimes the output is wonderful. Too often it leaves us unsatisfied with ourselves.
We spend a good portion of our day masking those defects. Many of today’s psychologists would say, “Be honest! Just be yourself. Be comfortable with the way you are. Avoid all the stress that fighting yourself implies. Relax!” As far as the mask goes, they’re right on. Pretending to be nice and actually being nice are two very different things.
If you’ve ever tried to improve, you know that in some sense they’re right on that count too. Being better is way hard. Just identifying the problem is a problem. Then you have to dig down into your psyche somewhere and fix it. And yet… shrink or no shrink, we all want to be better. Deep down, no one’s happy with their foibles.
What if we had a reset button, like the big one on the front of your PC that you use every time the blue screen of death comes up? That would make things simpler. And it exists! It’s called what you do.
Barring mental cases that really do need a psychiatrist, the real way to change who you are is working on what you do. Our output is what marks our everyday experience the most. Remember that terrible day at work? Everything just went to pieces: a big deal went down the drain, the boss was on your case, the coffee was cold. When you got home, your wife was in bed with a fever. Instead of ranting about your day, you went in, gave her a kiss, and cooked up some chicken soup for her. And went to bed feeling pretty good about yourself. What happened at the office didn’t matter. What marked you the most was what you did.
Reset. Don’t give up. Don’t hide behind your mask. Just get out there and do some good. Little by little, your psyche will follow.
No comments:
Post a Comment