A little girl walked next to her daddy on the sidewalk. He reached his hand to accompany her by holding hers. Suddenly, she jerked her little hand away and said in her baby voice: "Daddy, I do it, I do it, Daddy."
It's true that others need their space. At times they simply want to be allowed to go it alone. Letting them do it can show how much you value their abilities.
We drove in the car together, me and my friend, and one of those moments arrived. He let go of the wheel, and I instantly reacted as if to grab it. At the same time I noticed he wanted to drive with his knee - yet he also noticed I was going to grab the wheel, and we both instantly concluded the same. "He wants to do it - I won't interfere."
"WHOA!!!"
Luckily we didn't end up in the ditch or mangled against the guard rail.
A very kind woman, once volunteered to buy me some dress shirts. Being a man of the cloth I often fold in my shirt-collar, so that I can wear my clergyman over it. However, often I need to take off my cassock and unfold that collar to cook or clean. Changing from a cassock into work clothes is hard enough without the added need to change my dress-shirt. She offered to cut off the collars - I responded kindly that I preferred them WITH the collars on, thank you. "Oh, no, I can take care of it, you don't have to worry." "Ummm, Ma'am, if you would be so kind, I would find it easier if you didn't cut them off." "No, no, no... I said don't worry I will fix the collars just how you need them."
That went back and forth about 5 times - me trying to continue to smile - until I finally gave up. She was set on HER way of practicing charity, which ended up being more of a burden than a help.
Jesus was surely a man who served others, always doing so according to their needs: to the one he laid on his hands, to the next he used spittle, to another he simple gave the word and the servant was healed. But there is also something special about Jesus' dealings with others. Remember the woman who walked in with the alabaster jar of perfume? He sat there, while she dumped this jar all over his head.
Jesus was one who served according to the wishes and needs of others, but sometimes too, he allowed others to serve him - even when it was more of a burden than a help.
Often growth in friendship means accepting others just as they are, including - especially - accepting the burdensome way that they serve ME.
I often remember the story about a Holy man who walked long distances without drinking water as an offering. Them it happens to have a disciple to walk along with him. On hot sunny day, he drank, so that his disciple would allow himhelf to dring too. That was a big sacrifice, surrender his will for love.
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