Life's Toothpaste & God at the Doorbell

By Nathan Miller 

Preaching presents a few tough challenges:

As I approached the automatic airport check-in on my return flight from Madrid last Saturday, I saw and heard a life-sized hologram for the first time. She spoke Spanish.

However, to make an analogy by saying that the Blessed Trinity is like a hologram projector - since God doesn't just draw you on the wall and walk away, but must think about you every instant in order for you to continue existing - is "nice and all" but could be pointless. I mean, in a certain sense it might enlighten, but what is the point, if life goes on and you haven't become a better person?

The next challenge is more personal. It doesn't matter how beautiful you can preach, if you are not a good example, your words will fall on deaf ears. People don't need neat explanations of the Trinity, they need the inner testimony of a man or woman who lives a relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit in first person.

That's how I started my homily on Trinity Sunday...

Then I shared a very personal reflection I had made after first asking myself a simple question: "What is my opinion of myself?" and then by contrasting my answer with the answer to another, similar question: "What is God's opinion of me?"

But before I tell you what that was - there is yet another problem. Like me, on Sunday, still preparing my homily when I was asked to answer the doorbell if it should ring while the others were in adoration. I had to brush my teeth. And while I brushed I hoped no one would ring. Of course, I wanted many to come and join us for Mass, but NOT NOW while I had toothpaste in my mouth.

How often are our lives full of toothpaste? That is, we DO want God to come in, but "not just yet" because of this, that or the other?

So here's what I realized: MY opinion of myself and GOD'S opinion are miles apart. I have desired to achieve so many goals in my life as a priest. While still a seminarian, I always figured there was still time to learn and grow. But those days are now long gone. Maybe many of my goals will NEVER be reached ... could very well be.

The Blessed Trinity, God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, looks at me in such a different way. His love for me is not that of friendship which is necessarily reciprocal, that is, if I break up, then he stops; if I don't achieve, then he won't love me. Rather his love comes first and is unconditional. He loved me into existence. Maybe I have often wanted God to take possession of my life, but with so many "not yets" because I had still not achieved my goals. God has been ringing my doorbell, but my life has remained full of toothpaste.

And I guess now is when the hologram image can help; because in reality, God cannot be kept outside waiting, while we sweeten our breath with mint. Rather, he already is inside - he is the one projecting our lives on the wall of time.

What remains to do, is to learn to see myself as God sees me. Only then will I be capable of loving others in the same way.